Love.

Don't hate me, I realize this is a rather annoying topic for quite a lot of people. But this is my cozy, warm corner of the internet, and I'm here to share my thoughts and feelings. I am in love. I believe all love comes with adjustments, and true love to me isn't about finding a person that can't do any wrong in your eyes no matter what. My Love, is someone I have to adjust to, but our love is very True. At least, my love for him is absolutely true. The sad thing is, there are things he needs/wants that I'm not comfortable with giving him, and it's nothing to do with trust. But even so, he can't be with me right now because I can't give him what he wants. Yet somehow, I love him anyways. I know he's never lied to me, and I know his love and care is genuine even if it should be stronger than his wants. It's  just, the fact of his love and care and acceptance of me isn't something I can (or want) to forget. It's stupid to fall in love, but I want it anyways...

I'm sad without him. I want his cuddles and his thoughtfulness and his love. He hasn't quite moved on from me yet, but even so, I don't have a bit of his time. He seems to have none (or so he says...). I feel lonely and strong. I am an individual who can live her life the way she wants; I feel freedom in that. But (yes, again), I'm really lonely without him. I feel I've lost a true friend. 
I can't stay mad at him...


Thanks for letting me share.

Hugs,
Crucifix Thorne xx

Feeling Content

I was looking up some good Goth blogs to read and I came across this blog. I feel somewhat at peace with myself in a way because it reminded me I am who I am; I don't need to pretend. I think we've all come across that fear of 'What if I'm just a poser?'... Goth is Goth. To be Goth you just need to let yourself like what you like. Be yourself, and if you're forcing Goth, let yourself flow to what you truly want. Finding a place in the world where we feel safe and secure takes a while, but it will happen. 

I'm so thankful for who I am, and I'm thankful for who you are whether you're Goth or not, or maybe you're just here because you might be interested, there is diversity within all of us, and I appreciate that so much. No one needs to pretend to be anyone else. You're so precious and loved. All of us here and anywhere else, we add color to this world no matter if that color is black or a bright freaking yellow. I honestly feel safe here, and I want you to feel safe too. This is our space, here to bring some unity to the table. I hope you feel relevant and loved and OK to be you after reading this. I would love comments to any of my posts!

Much love, Crucifix

Our Insecurities

You and I have insecurities, let's face it. None of us are alone. I'm currently trying to get myself up from a random insecurity wave; I get those, I'm sure some of you do too. I know I'm beautiful, and I'm unique in my special way. I am wonderful because I see things in such a queer light, and it makes me happy. I'm lucky to be myself even with all my flaws. I should flaunt them;you should too. I've got this; we've got this. Life is ultimately a losing battle; we all die, but the point is to have fun fighting and see it for what it is: a gift. 

Friends and Family, we are gathered here today to fight in gladness and depression. We are here to remember the sorrowful souls we once had and make them something better throughout our lives. We are gathered here to summon all the courage and readiness we have to live our lives on the happy side. 
Omg,I'm so proud of this post (even without comments)!!! :D

Self Adoration

So yesterday, I was thinking and for once, doing. I gave myself some much needed love just by taking some time to do the things I enjoy and doing the necessities I need to keep myself healthy and feeling beautiful. I felt like I mattered t myself, and I can't express how beautiful that feels. I'm learning to love and adore myself (without being arrogant of course) to live a happy life. And a lot of this comes from my somewhat newfound acceptance of the world, and I'm so much happier in many aspects of the word. This post is here so you know how important it is to love yourself. I know it's difficult, I had to do the same, but look past the many grudges you have against yourself to make you happy. You deserve it, I promise.

Happy Thanksgiving!!!

Yay, Thanksgiving! I hope everyone has a wonderful time with the people you love. :)

The food at my house was delicious! Although turkey makes me sad. It's horrible that we slaughter animals, remove all their insides (while we destroy all hope of doing good in memory of the poor creature), replace it with food, only to chop it up and indulge in it in the end. Where is the humanity? Why in the world are we ending lives for our own benefit when we don't truly need to kill living, bleeding creatures to survive.

So that's what I learned.

Hello World!

Why, hello there, people of the Universe! I am Crucifix Thorne, here to talk about the beauties in life and all the deep, dark, and scary things this 13 year old girl has run into. Yes, I realize I am young, but I am indeed no fool. I know enough to get me through life for now, and at this very moment, that's all that matters.

I will start of by saying I was diagnosed with depression around the ages of eleven and twelve. These past few months I am so happy and rather ready to talk about my experiences with life and everything to do with life itself. I will say I may not get the chance to update often, but I will be thinking about all who could see this, and I'll be back as soon as I can.

Big thank you to everyone here!! ^_^